


Viral Infection

by HonestMistake



Series: Fills for Chocobrosweek [3]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Misunderstandings, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-16 06:21:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12337206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HonestMistake/pseuds/HonestMistake
Summary: For some people love isn't sweet or kind, there's no chorus of angels, no being swept off of your feet, no gentle songs, or arms to wrap around you in the dead of night. For some love is just a fatal disease that ravages your mind with symptoms you have to suffer through and endure for the greater good.For Ignis love is more like a terminal illness than something to strive for, so why does he keep falling?





	Viral Infection

Ignis had never believed in love, not as the cure all fairytale most people seemed to paint it as. As far as he was concerned love was a viral infection that spread no matter how often you washed your hands, no matter how much you tried to prevent it, love would invade and take over everything until every hour of every day was torment. Love crept in early and it struck without warning, it turned your mind against itself, made you unstable and dangled hope above your head like a carrot on a stick or a lure to a fish. Ignis knew love as it really was, the tyrant, the overlord, love left him cold, made him hungry for things that weren't his to have, it made him jealous and angry and sick to his stomach. He hadn’t understood what was happening the first time he’d fallen in love, hadn’t known there even was a cliff to jump off of until he was lying at the bottom broken and shattered and crumbling away.

Noctis was the first carrier to infect him, he’d taken one look at boy so similar and yet so very different from himself and a star that had been hidden inside him came to life and spread until he was consumed entirely. He didn’t understand why he needed to be near the other boy, at first, he’d just assumed that it was loneliness that endeared Noctis to him, but time and company with others would prove that wrong. He didn’t like hanging out with the other children, not the same way he did Noctis and he didn’t understand why. He didn't know why Noctis' smile could make him feel invincible, why every giggle was something precious, why he was falling over himself to make sure that smile never faltered. By the time he finally understood what he was feeling it was too late to save himself, he was too far under the water to ever reach the surface. He knew he could never be with Noctis because Noctis was the prince and princes didn’t live happily ever after with their chamberlains, they married princesses and became kings.

It got easier when he accepted Noctis was always destined to leave him. He’d suffered quietly in his love of Noctis throwing himself into his work and studies and chores to be better for him, to be the best for him. He’d been told that if he failed he could be reassigned and someone else would be allowed to stand by Noctis as he was being raised to. The thought made something dark bubble up in his stomach, a sour feeling that curled in on itself like a snake. Thanklessly he worked, harder than he needed to, harder than intended, and it still wasn’t good enough, he needed to be perfect. Everything needed to be perfect and no matter how much he worked toward that perfection Noctis had never noticed, not in the way he wanted him to, the way he needed him to. It hadn’t mattered unnoticed as he was the virus still spread like a wildfire, untamable, unquenchable, undeniable. 

He assured himself that his feelings were just a childhood crush he would grow out of, his feelings could only be a silly childish thing and in time they would fade. He mended the wounds of unrequited love with promises that he would grow out of it, he would grow up and find someone else, someone he could really be with, and he would be happy. For a while he was able to believe it, he was able to force himself into the mold he needed to fill. At one point he even thought that he had moved on after meeting a charming young man who insisted on teaching him how to wield a sword. He’d thought that was the case until the news spread through the Citadel that Noctis was hurt, that Noctis could die, and his heart shattered apart in his chest.

The Marilith taught him hate. He learned the depths of that emotion well as he as he watched Noctis suddenly transformed from a vibrant boy enamored of the world into a wraith, a ghost of himself cloaked in suffering. Nothing could make him smile, nothing could make him laugh, nothing made those blue eyes wide with wonder anymore. Noctis would look at his legs with yearning, not to be with him, but to stand on his own again. Ignis tried, he tried to help Noctis get back to his feet but nothing he did seemed to help. Noctis only brightened up again when he heard they were taking him to see the Oracle, to see if his body could be restored. Noctis came back from his visit with the Oracle even more shattered than he had been before. Ignis cursed Niflheim, cursed the Oracle, cursed the gods and the heavens and everything that decided Noctis should suffer. Noctis faded into himself growing still and silent with a haunted look in his eyes that wouldn’t fade. Ignis tried to make it better, he’d tried to help Noctis pick up the pieces but it was like juggling broken glass. He just got wounded in the process. He hadn’t even met Lunafreya but seeing how Noctis would only come out of the haze to write in the book Umbra brought to him made jealousy blossom over his heart like a creeping vine.

Nothing had brought Noctis out of his silence until they’d served a pastry for desert and Noctis had cried because it wasn’t right. The tears were painful to see but they were something more than the emptiness that had hung over Noctis like a hangman’s noose. That night he’d snuck into the kitchen and attempted to make the pastry’s himself. He was caught surrounded by a plume of foul black smoke and covered in flour. The head chef had seen the mess he’d made and tossed him an apron. His first lesson in cooking consisted of cleaning up his mess and learning how to properly crack an egg. He threw himself into his new hobby determined to perfect the art of cooking until he could make a perfect tart for Noctis. 

In time Noctis healed piece by piece his smile returned but it was a small thing, a candle flame instead of a hearth fire. His legs strengthened enough that he could wander again, but his journeys were often cut short and he would have to cling to Ignis’ back because his legs were too weak. He was never quite the same but seeing Noctis smile again hearing Noctis laugh made those horrible days feel like a nightmare he’d finally woken up from. He could never make it right but each attempt brought some of that light back and when he branched out seeing Noctis excited for something, even something as small as a dinner he’d put together, made his heart sing. 

Meeting Gladio again had been a balm to his soul, he’d met someone who knew how hard it could be to give so much of oneself to the service of another. They commiserated together exchanging tales of hard work, of being ignored, of endless hours training and improving only to be turned away. They talked of their youth and the struggles it brought them, the horrors of their teenage years passed back and forth between them. They complained to each other finding an easy friendship in their shared misery that only grew stronger when they found it was not just misery that they shared. Eventually their talks extended to other things and he found they had more in common that he’d first assumed. Their tastes in music, movies, and books were surprisingly similar and they could talk for days in pointless debates that did little more than bring smiles to their faces. They talked about the pleasant surprises, of when Noctis exceeded above and beyond why they’d first thought him capable of. 

He’d turned to Gladio when the love he had for Noctis weighed heavy on his soul and Gladio made him remember that he was his own person, that he existed outside of Noctis. Gladio was so easy to be friends with he hadn’t even realized that he’d been infected all over again. With every moment they spent in each others company Gladio carved for himself a space in Ignis’ heart quietly piece by piece until it was split in two between them. It was agony loving Gladio, because Gladio was not untouchable in the same ways that Noctis was, he didn’t have the burden of a crown or the expectation of an heir sitting entirely on his shoulders. He was so close and yet it wasn’t meant to be. Gladio’s heart was fickle and he flitted between girlfriends like a hummingbird between flowers. It was better that they remain friends,it would hurt too much to close the distance between them if the chasm should open again. He couldn’t bear to lose Gladio as his friend so he grinned and bore the unwanted tales of romances both successful and failed with more patience than he ever realized he had. 

He'd finally found something resembling peace with his situation when Noctis made a new friend and the virus found another way to infect him. 

With Prompto it had been different, he’d known from the instant they met that Prompto would be a problem. The young man was attractive enough with the bright blonde hair, freckles scattered across his cheeks, and violet eyes. He was like no one Ignis had ever encountered before and he stuck in the memory like a burr. The blonde was irreverent, uncouth, shockingly casual, and carried around a camera like a junior member of the paparazzi. The boy was foolish and lazy endlessly encouraging Noctis to slack off his duties and have fun. He could capture Noctis' attention in an instant and even when he wasn't there he consumed Noctis' thoughts. He was also shockingly loyal to Noctis for someone who hadn’t been raised to serve at his side and strong enough to refuse to fold when he was pressured to. He laughed easily and smiled easier, he was so bright he was like sunshine that had been gathered and distilled into a purified form, he seemed to light up whatever room he was in. He was likable, amusing, and he brought out a side of Noctis that made jealousy take root in him like nothing else ever had. His affection for Prompto came and went like waves, he hated how much Noctis loved him even as he admired him. 

Watching Noctis smile and laugh freely for Prompto was like having a knife shoved into his chest. Accidentally walking in on Noctis and Prompto exchanging a hesitant kiss made agony flare to life with his broken heart to stoke it. Convincing himself he hated Prompto was easier than letting his affections grow into love, so he let his jealousy burn quietly ever growing, it smoldered inside him like a black bubbling cauldron. He let it boil as Noctis and Prompto grew closer merging into each other like two young trees planted too close together, trading touches between them like trinkets to collect, breathing secret kisses like air. He’d known from the beginning that Noctis was not his, could never be his, but seeing it there in reality nearly bent him to the breaking point. It made it easier in many ways to ignore the symptoms, the heat rushing to his cheeks when he saw Prompto was merely a product of his jealousy. He couldn't look at him smile because he hated it, he had to leave the room when he heard him laughing because it was annoying, if his heart skipped a beat or two it was lost beneath a tide of denial and I can't like him because I don't like him. 

Hate and jealousy were not the antidotes he’d hoped they would be when faced with an infection like love. 

He’d only realized that his plan to avoid any kind feelings he held for Prompto as much as he could and to outright ignore him when he couldn't had failed when Prompto invaded his dreams. He walked into them like he belonged there filling his nights with easy smiles and laughter that couldn't follow him to the waking world. One of the most persistent of the dreams was a simple one where they shared a milkshake in the park sitting on a blanket in the sunlight watching the world pass them by. There was something peaceful about the way Prompto would point out monsters and shapes in the clouds that would drift by them. His innocent dreams weren’t the only ones affected as Prompto quickly joined Noctis and Gladio in the twist of bodies and aching pleasure that played behind his eyelids at night. He lost count of how often he’d woken up hard and wanting with three names on his lips and empty spaces in his bed. 

He couldn’t go on like this so in love it hurt to breathe. He forced himself to focus on other things his work and cooking hobby consuming him. The next few months were hard on him, but he excelled as he always did, he thrived in his work and working hard kept his thoughts in line. Working hard kept his nights blissfully free of dreams and his days too busy to think about what he was going to have for lunch let alone something as complex as his emotions. He didn’t think he was running himself ragged even though he was drinking more and more Ebony just to stay on his feet. He was fine, he was perfectly fine, but he was like a car driving straight for a brick wall, he was headed for a crash. It all came to a head one day as he went to Noctis’ apartment early to get a head start on the cleaning up and cooking so everything would be ready when he was finished with his meetings and he could avoid his feelings by avoiding at least one source of them entirely. He unlocked the door and walked into the apartment the grocery bag in his arms spilling to the floor. Betrayal and jealousy had ice crackling along inside his veins and building up in his chest at the sight in front of him. They were all here together in Noctis' apartment and they were wrapped up in each other in ways he'd only seen before his sleep. Gladio was kissing Noctis holding him up against his chest as Prompto kissed the back of his neck. He forced down his darker feelings and picked up his dropped bag trying to look anywhere but at the spectacle in front of him. He placed it on the counter and cleared his throat turning his face toward the exit like a coward because he couldn't bear to see it anymore. “I was going to get a head start on the cooking but I can see you’re busy so if it’s alright with you I’ll be on my way.”

"Ignis this isn't how we meant to tell you." Gladio's voice draws his eyes back to where they've separated standing apart but still so close to each other. 

His jealousy reared its ugly head and the next words out of his mouth were burning with it, tinged in a tone he didn't know he could make. "Noctis, Gladio, Prompto, I'll see you tomorrow, I have other business that I need to attend to." 

He turned to leave only to be stopped by a hand gripping his own like a lifeline, Noctis' voice quavering as the fingers tightened around his wrist. "Please Ignis, don't go just yet, please just stay long enough for us to talk to you. we have so much we need to tell you."

"I can't Noctis, not now." He's begging deep down inside himself for the humiliation to end, for them to let him leave with his dignity intact if not his heart. "Don't force me to stay where you don't want me."

“What makes you think we don’t want you to stay?” Noctis asks him, bringing up his hand to gently turn his face so he can look right into his eyes and there’s no lie there, nothing hidden away, Noctis’ heart is split open before him. His fingers rest gently against the side of his head and the touch is electricity. "This whole thing's crazy, first it was just Prompto and me but then Gladio confessed and we just got swept up in it, but there was something missing. We were setting things up, we were going to invite you over, we had everything planned out, because we were going to ask you today. It was never going to be just the three of us, we wouldn't be happy without you."

Temptation grabs ahold of him and he gives in reaching down to cup Noctis’ cheek before tangling his fingers into his hair and pulling him into a desperate searching kiss. Noctis kisses him back with equal fervor, like there was nothing else he’d rather do, like he might die if they broke apart even for air. His skin burned from the touch of Noctis’ lips, the weight of Gladio pressing up against his back, the gentle fingers of Prompto’s hand carding through his hair as his teeth teased at the skin of his neck. It was a dream and just like that reality sets in. This was too much, this couldn’t be happening, he knew his place, he knew where he belonged. He was to stand at Noctis’ side, but not like this. Noctis was to be King and Gladio was to be his Shield and there was so much at risk, if they went through with this there would be consequences. He broke away from the kiss, and it felt like he’d torn out his own heart and dunked it in ice water, but it was the proper thing to do. He needed to put himself together and leave now before he became complicit in this madness that would only end in pain. "We can't do this, Noctis you're going to be the King one day, and an affair between the four of us, it would ruin you. No matter how much we might want this it's something we can't have."

“Ignis, don't think about duty, don't think about what anyone else might think and just tell me, do you want this at all?” Prompto asked his voice wobbling as he begged him with his eyes and his voice in tandem. 

"That doesn't matter." The words tasted bitter on his tongue and the effort it took to say them was much more than he'd expected. 

"Bullshit!" Gladio walked up to him his voice firm but his hands were gentle as they rested on his shoulders. "Ignis, either you feel the same way we do or you don't and i think it's pretty clear that you want this too. So why should you let a bunch of strangers who don't even know you dictate how you live your life? If we get caught what are they going to do, they can't take the throne from Noctis and we've already been sworn into his magic, they can't undo that, so there's nothing they can do to stop us. Even if we don't get together people will talk, so let's give them something to talk about. Now are you leaving or are you going to stay?"

“I’m afraid I have work to do?” He’d meant to sound authoritative and unmoving but he sounded unsteady swept off his feet by the idea that he could have evrything he'd been telling himself wasn't meant for him but he wanted so deeply.

“Well we think you’ve been working too much, I think it’s time for an intervention.” Prompto chimed in bouncing up to him, a spot of sunshine he desperately wanted to bask in.

“Or you’re the ones who need to take some responsibility and do something besides goof off.” Ignis pressed his glasses up from where they’d fallen and forced himself to glare at Prompto and Noctis who had taken his other hand in his own. "But you're right Gladio, if I said no to you, if I let this end now I'd never forgive myself. We can disscuss how we'll move forward later but for now I have work to do." 

Gladio scoffed and Ignis could feel his silent laughter behind him. “Working out isn’t goofing off Ignis it’s my job, besides Noctis is on the honor roll so a day off isn’t going to hurt him and Prompto’s a civilian as long as it’s not illegal he can do what he wants. Either way we’ve got drinks, we’ve got snacks, we’ve got a new game to break in, and thanks to permission from the King himself you’ve got an entire afternoon to waste with us, even if you didn't want to be with us that way we'd still want to hang out with you. So why don’t you take a seat on the couch and let Noct show you how to work a joystick.” 

“I beg your pardon?” 

“Come on Ignis you’ll love this game, there’s a guy in it that looks just like you.” Noctis’ hand tightens on his own putting just enough pressure that he could break away if he wanted to, but how could he when Noctis is holding his hand.

Somehow between Gladio’s steady presence at his back and Prompto and Noctis pulling him forward Ignis found himself dragged down onto the couch and sandwiched between his first love and his newest with Gladio’s arm was draped over both his and Noctis’ shoulders as he took the remaining space for himself. A controller was pressed into his hands and Noctis and Prompto were both talking over each other trying to explain to him how to use it. The Avatar on screen bounced lightly on his feet and though the three of them had insisted that the man making punches into the air looked like him he just couldn’t see it. 

“Okay and if you press both the X and the square at the same time you’ll execute a super combo, but only when your power bar is full.” Noctis said with a grin leaning into him to press down on the button.

“Yeah but you should totally try it without letting it charge first, it’s hilarious.” Prompto chimes in smiling like he’s bursting with happiness. 

“Don’t listen to him,” Gladio chimed in with a roguish grin as he leaned over them to snatch the other controller from Prompto, “you’ll probably end up doing it on accident anyway but he’s trying to cheat, which is pointless because you’re playing with me not those two.” 

“Aww man.” Prompto fell back against the back of the couch his arms crossed over his chest in a teasing pout before his eyes lit up as a wicked grin split his lips. “Hey Noctis, you think you can distract Gladio more than I can distract Ignis.”

“You know it.” Noctis said with an easy sort of confidence, his lips pulled back in a smile that seemed to be more than just the certainty he would win. 

Gladio rolled his eyes but his mouth quirked up into a smirk. “You’re welcome to try, but if we’re going to be playing that game Noct, let’s switch seats, we don’t want Ignis to be distracted by your ass Princess, that’s Prompto’s job this round.”

Sitting there with Prompto practically climbing onto his lap trying to draw his attention away from the screen with Gladio’s body pressed up against him and the memory of Noctis’ lips on his own Ignis comes to a realization, if love is an infection there’s no better sickness to have.

**Author's Note:**

> Something went wrong the first time I tried to post this, so I had to try it again hopefully everything's alright now.


End file.
